do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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