You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
