well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
