I can tuck mytits in my pants
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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