FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
