Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
