There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
