He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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