i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
