I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
