So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize