My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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