Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
