do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize