Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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