My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
