Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
