What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
