Do you still have your period?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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