did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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