What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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