Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
