Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize