You work out of a Hotel?
I didn't shave. On purpose
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
