neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You ruined the universe
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
