"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
