my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
