I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
