don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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