I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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