I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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