I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
