I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
