Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
