he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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