there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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