yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
