Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
