Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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