You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
