Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
