Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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