Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize