Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize