I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
