After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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