Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
