I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
