Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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