so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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