I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
