I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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