I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize