entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
