i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
