Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
