That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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