You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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